


I could use some friends for a change

by Lionheart007



Series: Every light shines brighter after darkness [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:21:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27119473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lionheart007/pseuds/Lionheart007
Summary: This work is part of a series, so it would be easier to understand if you read the first part too.
Series: Every light shines brighter after darkness [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975225
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	I could use some friends for a change

Much later on that night Sirius returned to his room. He lay down on his bed, because it hurt to sit, everything hurt.

He listened to the throbbing of pain, where there were bruises and other injuries on his body, for a while, it was the only sound in the never ending darkness and even that wasn't a proper sound, more like a feeling. But it was the only thing that told him that he was alive, so he listened.

Sirius didn't fight the tears, in fact he couldn't because there weren't any coming, he hadn't any left to cry.

He felt empty, like he had spent years with dementors and all the happiness that he ever felt had gone forever. All that he could see was darkness, all that he could hear was silence and the rhythm of the pain, all that he could feel was said pain, that incredible pain everywhere and never ending darkness. It was like a vicious cycle, a loop he couldn't escape.

He just wanted to be as far away from this monsters as humanly possible. At least that would be what he'd wanted, if he was able to want anything at the moment. But he wasn't, he refused to think about anything, because if he'd think the horrible occurrences would return.

He didn't know how long he lay there, all he knew was that the soft, silver light of the half-moon changed to red of dawn.

Sirius flinched violently when the door opened. The back of his head faced the door, so he didn't know who entered, he didn't know if he wanted to know. But he hoped whoever it was would just leave him alone, he just wanted to suffer in silence, that wasn't to much to ask, was it?

But of course that wasn't granted to him. A strong hand gripped him by the collar and he heard his father's voice saying:"Christmas Lunch will begin in five minutes, you will be there on time. Don't you dare make such a scene as yesterday and shame our family further, this gathering isn't about you! Understood?"

As he looked around the room, he added:"And for Salazar's sake, clean this mess, it's disgusting."

Sirius barely managed to nod, before his father left the room. With the occurrences of the last days, Sirius completely forgot about Christmas, it just didn't feel right that such a wonderful holiday, was... like this.

A quick look in the mirror told him what he already anticipated : he was extremely pale, even more so than normal, a purple bruise graced one of his high cheekbones, his silver-grey eyes seemed hollow, the usual brightness and sparkle missing and his silky black locks were a mess.

He ran a hand through his hair, but other than that he didn't really bother to fix his appearance.

Slowly he descended the stairs, on one hand he went so slowly because he didn't really look forward to see them all again, on the other hand he limped strongly and couldn't really go much faster.

Once he arrived down there, he silently took his usual seat. At first the other guests just stared at him, it was unusual for him to be this silent.

The four young adults shot him prurient looks, Sirius did his best to ignore them. He decided to keep his head down for today.

The conversation took its usual turn and they all expressed their hate for muggles, half-bloods, muggle-borns, in fact everyone that wasn't a purebloods wizard. At that words Sirius' temper started to rise and he stabbed his food angrily.

"Darling Regulus wants to join the Dark Lord too, once he's old enough, like Lucius and Rodolphus did!" his mother cooed.

Sirius couldn't quite stop the snort that escaped him. In the matter of seconds all eyes were on him.

"And what do you want to do in the future, seeing that you obviously have an opinion?" his aunt Druella sneered with a glare, as if daring him to disagree with his family's beliefs.

In the end his anger got the better of him and he answered nonchalantly.

"Oh, you know, I would love to become an Auror, reduce the number of dark wizards and - "

His sentence was cut of as pain erupted on the right side of his face, where his father had just hit him. A look around the room told him that the wands of everyone in the room were raised and pointed at him.

"Go to your room!" shreeked his mother.

"We'll deal with you later." hissed his father.

Sirius knew that now he was in for it. He stood up and started to make his way to his room, but at the dining room door he turned around to look at them.

"You know that fantastic muggle book 'A Christmas Carol'? Well, like tiny Tim would say: God bless us, every one!" he said, sarcasm dripping from his words, slamming the door shut.

He heard several curses hit the door, where only mere moments ago he was standing.

He thought, as he would be punished anyways, he could as well go all in, but he found that he started to regret his decision. He quickly made his way to his room and closed the door shut.

For the last minutes he felt really great, that meant that it was good to feel anything but disgust and self-hatred at all. It was a wonderful sign that he stood up to them, because that meant rebellion and every rebellion is built on hope. And hope was such a rare thing these days.

He lay down on the bed, his stomach dropping as the adrenaline left him, the pain kicking in again. He has probably gone to far, this was going to be really bad. He felt himself slipping back into a depressive phase. With nothing to distract him, it was inevitable to think of what happened yesterday. Would that happen again today? What _would_ happen?

Before he could think about what they would do to him too much, he heard a familiar voice calling his name.

"Sirius Black!"

Sirius instantly recognised James Potter's voice, he was his best friend after all, he was one of the reasons he hadn't given up completely yet. He was one of the most important, when not _the_ most important, people in Sirius' life, but right now he really didn't feel like talking to him.

Nevertheless Sirius answered the mirror.

"Hey, mate!", called the enthusiastic voice of James, "I wanted to wish you a merry--are that bruises on your face? What the bloody hell happened?"

Sirius cursed himself under his breath, how could he forget about that.

"Er, look James, it's nothing really, I just slipped, you know. And thanks, merry Christmas to you to!"

Sirius was getting uncomfortable under James' wary gaze and when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs he fully started to panic. When his parents would find the mirror, they'd propably kill him and if James saw something....

"Was really nice to hear from you, I'll see you on the train station then. Bye and say hi from me to your Mum and Dad." he hurried to say and without waiting for a response, he hid the mirror just in time, before the door opened.


End file.
